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“A man walks into a bar..” – jokes oder auch eine Ode an den Alkoholismus!

von Flo am 16.08.2010   |   Sonstiges

Liebe Freunde der anspruchsvollen Abendgestaltung,

im Folgenden könnt ihr die Gelegenheit nutzen, meine sensationelle  „A man walks into a bar“ Flachwitzsammlung zu genießen!

a grasshopper hops into a bar. the bartender says, “you’re quite a celebrity around here. we’ve even got a drink named after you.” the grasshopper says, “you’ve got a drink named steve?”

a default sans serif font walks into a bar. the bartender says, “sorry, we don’t serve your type here!”

an amnesiac walks into a bar. he asks, “do i come here often?”

a drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. he says, “i’m jesus christ.” the first priest says, “no, son, you’re not.” so the drunk says it to the second priest. the second priest says, “no, son, you’re not.” the drunk says, “look, i can prove it.” he walks back into the bar with the two priests. the bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, “jesus christ, you’re here again?”

a man runs into a bar and asks the barkeep, “give me ten shots of your best whisky.” the bartender sets up the ten glasses. the man starts drinking them as quickly as the bartender serves them. the bartender asks, “why are you drinking so fast?” “you’d drink fast too, if you had what i have.” the bartender asks, “what do you have?” “seventy cents.”

a horse walks into a bar, across the room, up the back wall, across the ceiling, down the front wall and then up to the bar. the bartender gives the horse a beer, he drinks it and leaves. a guy sitting at the bar looks perplexed and asks the bartender “hey, what’s that all about?” the bartender replies, “don’t take it personally, he never says ‘hi’ to anyone.”

a man walks into a bar and says, “give me a beer before problems start!” again, the man orders a beer again saying, “give me a beer before problems start!” the bartender looks confused. this goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, “when are you going to pay for these beers?” the man answers, “ah, now the problems start!”

a man walks into a bar, looking really moody and orders immediately a double-whiskey. then he starts rambling on about how lousy a wife he’s got, until the bartender finally says: “you know, i don’t understand what you’re complaining about. all the other guys in here only have compliments about your wife.”

a man walks into a bar. the bartender tosses him out as he is too drunk. the drunk walks back into the bar. again, the bartender throws him out for being too drunk. again the drunk walks into the bar. the bartender is just about the throw him out when the drunk looks at him and says, “how many bars do you own, anyway?”

a man walks into a bar and there is a horse behind the bar serving drinks. the guy is just staring at the horse, when the horse says, “what are you staring at? haven’t you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?” the guy says, “no, i never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

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